Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
