glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
