don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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