I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
