glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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