so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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