I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
