I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
