dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I need moral support for this bender
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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