its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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