Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize