Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm always down for nudity.
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