so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
