You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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