Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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