life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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