I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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