piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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