How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
