i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Houston, we have a squirter
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
