Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
