do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
