i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
