Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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