Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
high people should be assigned attendants
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
