I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
