I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
