The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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