it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
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I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
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my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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