I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
