I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
