Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
