U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Sorry my hands just texted you
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
And then he peed in my hair
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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