New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
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You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
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He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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