I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
