So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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