We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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