Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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