I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
