just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
