He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
