The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
