I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize