Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
