haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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