He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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