There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize