toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
