Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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