I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
