she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
