Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl

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(313): I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl http://tfl.nu/zim9

Replies (2) Good night (879) Bad night (1270)
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(334): View more from Alabama

I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.

(205): View more from Alabama

Win!

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(334): I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender. (205): Win! http://tfl.nu/0n6n

Replies (12) Good night (5376) Bad night (884)
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(845): View more from New York

If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?

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(845): If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one? http://tfl.nu/fmgu

Replies (11) Good night (913) Bad night (4011)
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(239): View more from Florida

I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them

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(239): I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them http://tfl.nu/55o4

Replies (99) Good night (4807) Bad night (2490)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.

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(860): he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit. http://tfl.nu/apjr

Replies (37) Good night (1355) Bad night (6195)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments

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(304): She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments http://tfl.nu/75se

Replies (88) Good night (14845) Bad night (3126)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.

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(336): i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow. http://tfl.nu/uyrp

Replies (17) Good night (2730) Bad night (909)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.

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(270): No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife. http://tfl.nu/ovxt

Replies (4) Good night (1965) Bad night (983)
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(941): View more from Florida

I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.

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(941): I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh. http://tfl.nu/0uja

Replies (2) Good night (931) Bad night (2044)
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(928): View more from Arizona

I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.

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(928): I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now. http://tfl.nu/gaaz

Replies (29) Good night (3601) Bad night (780)
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(408): View more from California

Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.

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(408): Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you. http://tfl.nu/z19y

Replies (5) Good night (1585) Bad night (599)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.

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(508): I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi. http://tfl.nu/i78a

Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (298)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there

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(413): omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there http://tfl.nu/wvl8

Replies (0) Good night (629) Bad night (359)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.

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(317): Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night. http://tfl.nu/xh92

Replies (2) Good night (687) Bad night (225)
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(585): View more from New York

It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.

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(585): It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope. http://tfl.nu/l7kb

Replies (3) Good night (393) Bad night (193)

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