i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.