Soap is not a condiment
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry