If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
