How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
