I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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