I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
