As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
