what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
