Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
