No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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