Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
