"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
