Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
ttyl tear gas
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
