Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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