what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I got inside last night via doggy door
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
