Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
